Welcome To My Point of View

Getting ready to go to the PCU Christmas Party. Didn't get to go last year. (First time in a few years that I had actually missed it!) Usually it's a good time; just hope there is no drama... With some of the new employees that are there, I just hope it doesn't get too uncomfortable. Other than that, it will be a fun night. (But would be a lot better if that special man would just drop everything to attend with me... But it's okay, I'll deal. :)

Night 3 of 5 is done... Getting ready for bed because I'm going in 2 hours early tonight.

As usual, my mind's going a mile a minute. It's amazing how someone can say a few sentences that makes you wonder about the future, both yours and his. Hoping (knowing) that things are going to eventually fall into place, but scared that one of us is gonna hit a brick wall first, either mentally or even physically.

It amazing how words can hurt you more than they hurt the person that the same words were originally told to. Some people just absorb pain for others. I'm one of those types.

I just wish that place would fall into it faster... Would make it easier... :(

This entry is more for the people on my friends list than it is for me...

Many of you guys over the last few weeks have expressed concern about myself. The fact that my attitude can do a complete 360 in the short course of a few hours, when I'm perfectly fine, and then completely pissed off and annoyed. That sometimes as of late, I've been saying things that are either "unlike" me (which if you truly know me, you know how I *can* be sometimes), or just doing actions that are "strange".

Fact of the matter is, there's been a lot of things going on in my personal life that I just can't talk about right now, for the sake of privacy. (My own.) Some of the things going on are making me lose my mind, be angry, be pissed off beyond no end. Some of the stuff going on gets so severe in my eyes that it takes control over me to the point that I sometimes feel like I have no way of calming myself down (although I've been doing better with that one lately.) And then I think to myself, why should this stuff take control over my life? Why can't I confront it and be done with it? Again, I have my reasons. And my reasons are VERY, VERY, valid. Anyone out there that is going through what I have been on this segment, would agree that I have a right to be losing my mind.

On the other hand, some of the things are actually very exciting. Besides the changing of the jobs, there's a few other things that I am looking at for the near future, which is scary and interesting. Thing is that while I feel like I'm being rushed sometimes, I have to do it because these kind of opportunities aren't gonna happen again in my lifetime. But that's not a bad thing. It's gonna be positive when it's all over with.

But the thing is that most of the stuff going on in my life has to do with things that are either going on now, or anticipated for the future, either in a few months or a few years even (although I hope that it doesn't take years.) The combination of it all makes my brain and actions mush. I'd love to get into more details about everything, but I just can't do it right now. They say that there is a time and a place for everything, and while this may or may not be the place to discuss it, I know that the time isn't right at the moment. So to everyone out there. Just bare with me. Hopefully in a few weeks some things will start falling into place. (I just hope it's the way that I want it to fall...)

Been working on a project that has to be the most personal one to date as of late. I'm on a time restraint with it though, but when it's all done, I'm hoping it'll be good. Without a doubt, one of the most special things I've ever worked on. I'm hoping that work isn't too chaotic the next 2 nights so I can work on it. (Although it's hard to work on pen and paper for me... I'm better off doing things on a computer, but I don't wanna bring my laptop into work, just in case... I'm weird like that.)

I'd like to get the main parts of the project done by the end of next week so I can have the finishing touches done by the following weekend.